So Much To Do...So Little Time!
Christmas To Do List.
1. Go to the beer store.
2. Purchase candy for stocking stuffers… cus ya... we all NEED to gain a few more pounds.
3. Go to Pet Smart and get cute little reindeer antlers for cat…then get a life.
4. Wrap up Christmas presents. (Note to self…next year get the ones that wrap themselves.)
5. Finish decorating the house with (tacky tinfoil garlands) cheerful holiday trimmings.
6. Go to the beer store.
7. Begin holiday baking.
8. Call fire department to inform them you’ve just started the holiday baking and to put a truck on stand-by.
9. Insure stockings are hung by the chimney with glue…’care’ just didn’t work last year.
10. Put up caution tape and warning signs (re Christmas tree). Move box of eye protectors nearer to the front door.
11. Go to the beer store.
12. Find ‘got to have it’ video game for The Boy Who Wanted Nothing For Christmas.
13. Pick up $200.00 worth of comic books for The Boy Who Wanted Nothing For Christmas.
14. Get bank loan for $350.00 head phones for THE BOY WHO WANTED NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!
15. Get head Examined (see list items 12, 13, and 14.)
16. Go to the Beer Store.
17. Locate ‘safely hidden’ gifts previously stashed (Gawd knows where) in smartly thunk out spots. (note to self…this should be a priority, February doesn’t work… it seems).
18. Order Gourmet Pork Hot Dogs for Christmas dinner… at the same time step-up the campaign for the “other white meat” as an alternative for turkey.
19. Finish sewing table runner lovingly sewn for the (bitch) neighbour across the street.
20. Go to beer store.
21. Practice air kissing and warm welcoming Christmas greeting prior to guests arrival. (In front of the mirror is best ).
22. Duct tape beautiful angel to the top of the tree and see if that will keep the f’n thing in her place.
23. Refrain from using the ‘F’ word while participating in all things Christmas.
24. Issue gentle reminder about how Christmas is for “ giving” and tell certain family member who is “ giving” himself a Christmas present, he will be required to also wrap it himself as you just used up all your good will towards men.
25. Go to the beer store.
26. Rent back-hoe tractor to give house a proper cleaning.
27. Schedule (drunkin’ brawl) small intimate gathering with certain family members you have not seen in awhile.
28. Locate and purchase Twisted Sister’s new Christmas Album… A Twisted Christmas …surely named in tribute to this family.
29. Remove battery connections from family vehicle before 6:00pm Christmas Eve to avoid (the annual pilgrimage to see the same old Christmas lights you’ve seen every year for the last ten damn years) any chance of car theft over the holidays.
30. Go to the beer store.
1. Go to the beer store.
2. Purchase candy for stocking stuffers… cus ya... we all NEED to gain a few more pounds.
3. Go to Pet Smart and get cute little reindeer antlers for cat…then get a life.
4. Wrap up Christmas presents. (Note to self…next year get the ones that wrap themselves.)
5. Finish decorating the house with (tacky tinfoil garlands) cheerful holiday trimmings.
6. Go to the beer store.
7. Begin holiday baking.
8. Call fire department to inform them you’ve just started the holiday baking and to put a truck on stand-by.
9. Insure stockings are hung by the chimney with glue…’care’ just didn’t work last year.
10. Put up caution tape and warning signs (re Christmas tree). Move box of eye protectors nearer to the front door.
11. Go to the beer store.
12. Find ‘got to have it’ video game for The Boy Who Wanted Nothing For Christmas.
13. Pick up $200.00 worth of comic books for The Boy Who Wanted Nothing For Christmas.
14. Get bank loan for $350.00 head phones for THE BOY WHO WANTED NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!
15. Get head Examined (see list items 12, 13, and 14.)
16. Go to the Beer Store.
17. Locate ‘safely hidden’ gifts previously stashed (Gawd knows where) in smartly thunk out spots. (note to self…this should be a priority, February doesn’t work… it seems).
18. Order Gourmet Pork Hot Dogs for Christmas dinner… at the same time step-up the campaign for the “other white meat” as an alternative for turkey.
19. Finish sewing table runner lovingly sewn for the (bitch) neighbour across the street.
20. Go to beer store.
21. Practice air kissing and warm welcoming Christmas greeting prior to guests arrival. (In front of the mirror is best ).
22. Duct tape beautiful angel to the top of the tree and see if that will keep the f’n thing in her place.
23. Refrain from using the ‘F’ word while participating in all things Christmas.
24. Issue gentle reminder about how Christmas is for “ giving” and tell certain family member who is “ giving” himself a Christmas present, he will be required to also wrap it himself as you just used up all your good will towards men.
25. Go to the beer store.
26. Rent back-hoe tractor to give house a proper cleaning.
27. Schedule (drunkin’ brawl) small intimate gathering with certain family members you have not seen in awhile.
28. Locate and purchase Twisted Sister’s new Christmas Album… A Twisted Christmas …surely named in tribute to this family.
29. Remove battery connections from family vehicle before 6:00pm Christmas Eve to avoid (the annual pilgrimage to see the same old Christmas lights you’ve seen every year for the last ten damn years) any chance of car theft over the holidays.
30. Go to the beer store.
posted by Nad at 1:54 p.m.
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