It Might Not Be Pretty
It all started innocently enough…then again… these things usually do….and before you know…you’re on your way to hell in a hand basket. Funny about that!
NOT!!!!
Miss J mentioned last week that she was wanting to enter a 5K Bike to Work event in Oshawa. She was quite excited about it…and I ‘read’(thru the virtues of ESP…cuz I’m smart like that!), from her tone…she would love it if she had a ‘team’ representing the store. I mulled over the distance in my head…and decided…pfff…what’s 5K…we can do that. So I suggested she ask the staff if they would like to participate. I seriously thought many of them would jump at the chance…Seriously…I did think that.
NOT!!!!
Miss J mentioned last week that she was wanting to enter a 5K Bike to Work event in Oshawa. She was quite excited about it…and I ‘read’(thru the virtues of ESP…cuz I’m smart like that!), from her tone…she would love it if she had a ‘team’ representing the store. I mulled over the distance in my head…and decided…pfff…what’s 5K…we can do that. So I suggested she ask the staff if they would like to participate. I seriously thought many of them would jump at the chance…Seriously…I did think that.
Seriously!
She asked me to invite them.
I did.
Wrote a kind and loving email to everyone, full of team spirit and encouragement (and hey…any of you who perceived my words as a blatant attempt to shame you off your asses….I call it ENCOURAGEMENT….K? ) , expecting an overwhelmingly positive response, and looking forward to amassing The- Finest- Team- Oshawa- Has- Ever-Seen!
I so live in a Fantasy Land. It’s pretty here. No sign of reality anywhere. OBVIOUSLY.
Email after email arrived soon after, since I did, after all, and rightly so, give them the opportunity to respond, believing they would all be so so excited about the idea… and at the very least, they owed me a good (pile of bullshit) reason why they could not make it.
I never thought so many of them would be questioning my sanity. I thought that was clear.
She asked me to invite them.
I did.
Wrote a kind and loving email to everyone, full of team spirit and encouragement (and hey…any of you who perceived my words as a blatant attempt to shame you off your asses….I call it ENCOURAGEMENT….K? ) , expecting an overwhelmingly positive response, and looking forward to amassing The- Finest- Team- Oshawa- Has- Ever-Seen!
I so live in a Fantasy Land. It’s pretty here. No sign of reality anywhere. OBVIOUSLY.
Email after email arrived soon after, since I did, after all, and rightly so, give them the opportunity to respond, believing they would all be so so excited about the idea… and at the very least, they owed me a good (pile of bullshit) reason why they could not make it.
I never thought so many of them would be questioning my sanity. I thought that was clear.
YES I AM NUTS…for all you kind enough to ask. And a total failure too…since I only managed to shame….er…encourage three of you on to a bike. Our great team consists of 4 whole people. UGH!
You Whimps!
Never mind…we’ll go it alone…we’ll be prepared. Miss J has her private coach Lisa, Snow has been pedaling her ass around the neighborhood (second income?)…I got ON a bike for the first time in…oh 15 years….and Mr. Computer Man…well he will just have to pull all our weight (and good luck with that), since he is the only one of us who’s biked in recent history. One way or another…we will cross the finish line….One – Way – Or –Another…. Dammit!
I been hitting the pavement everyday ( not literally…yet), trying to get in some kind of shape for this. I have a brand new appreciation for 5 K’s ….not to mention a very sore butt. Miss J, Lisa the Trainer…and I went for ….what I thought would be a short training session (oh so WRONG)….10K and a near death experience later, we…no…not we….Miss J thought we could at least hold our own… ….I thought... Dear Gawd…please restore the feeling to my legs…and kick my ass if I ever do this again.
Miss J has been shopping up a storm and will definitely look the part of a professional biker. Snow turned down my suggestion she arrive with a bright feathery boa….something about her fear of ending up on the front page of a local paper (and the problem with that is??? ) but is suddenly obsessed with the thought of rain gear. OMG…I totally forgot about that…too focused on JUST SURVIVING!! I have promised her, to look high and low for my umbrella hat...which really should ease her concerns about the rain anyway, altho, it may instantly make her the media target she so fears. I am but one girl....I can't fix everything!
You Whimps!
Never mind…we’ll go it alone…we’ll be prepared. Miss J has her private coach Lisa, Snow has been pedaling her ass around the neighborhood (second income?)…I got ON a bike for the first time in…oh 15 years….and Mr. Computer Man…well he will just have to pull all our weight (and good luck with that), since he is the only one of us who’s biked in recent history. One way or another…we will cross the finish line….One – Way – Or –Another…. Dammit!
I been hitting the pavement everyday ( not literally…yet), trying to get in some kind of shape for this. I have a brand new appreciation for 5 K’s ….not to mention a very sore butt. Miss J, Lisa the Trainer…and I went for ….what I thought would be a short training session (oh so WRONG)….10K and a near death experience later, we…no…not we….Miss J thought we could at least hold our own… ….I thought... Dear Gawd…please restore the feeling to my legs…and kick my ass if I ever do this again.
Miss J has been shopping up a storm and will definitely look the part of a professional biker. Snow turned down my suggestion she arrive with a bright feathery boa….something about her fear of ending up on the front page of a local paper (and the problem with that is??? ) but is suddenly obsessed with the thought of rain gear. OMG…I totally forgot about that…too focused on JUST SURVIVING!! I have promised her, to look high and low for my umbrella hat...which really should ease her concerns about the rain anyway, altho, it may instantly make her the media target she so fears. I am but one girl....I can't fix everything!
So...while the rest of you ...who creatively expressed your lame excuses to beg off , and your deep concerns for my menal well being, continue to sit on your asses, this little team of Rag Tags will pedal their asses to the finish line come hell or high water. We are focused and determined...pumped and practiced..... totally at peace with the back of the pack and yes...absolutely out of our minds.
And the least you could do is... come…cheer us on…root for us….and carry us back to the car!
The least........
posted by Nad at 8:20 a.m.
2 Comments:
I've got a hot pink cycling jacket from a former life. It has the vents under the arms for ventiliation - that's probably why they are called vents!!I may still even have the matching helmet cover
with the little duck bill to keep the rain off your neck.
would look fetching with a boa!
Maggie
OOOhhh Maggie...you are so my Go To Girl for bike accessories next time I go on a ride. How hot I woulda looked in that!
What were we thinking in our former lives anyway?
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