Au Contraire!
So I bet by now, you were thinkin’ the Ride killed me?
Au contraire my pretties!
Not only did we complete the 5K’s ...the original length this Ride was designed to be, we went one better…or actually about 8 better. This little band of Rag Tags complete a 13K ride.
And everybody lived!
It was a great day. And we’re very proud of ourselves! Too proud really.
We all arrived on time, which is a small miracle in itself, considering a couple of us have some serious ‘time’ issues, ( and while I could so rat you out here and now…I’ll save it…you can thank me later!) but for once, it seems everybody’s clock was in sync. We got our gear unloaded, helmets on, last minute wardrobe checks completed and 15 varieties of Lip Gloss packed….one must always be prepared….I’m told…but for what…I’m not sure?
We made our way to the starting point, towing our cheering section of ONE behind us. It seems M was the only one of the WHOLE ENTIRE STAFF OF JHS who could find the time to come and support us…even if all they had to do was sit on their sorry butts and looked like they gave a shit….apparently still too much for some! (And NO…I’m not the least bit bitter…nothing therapy won’t fix anyway.)
It turns out our first mistake was not to arrive with a Press photographer…it seems like everybody else had one, and I suddenly felt maybe Miss J had left something out. Was this a 5k Ride to Work Event…or something of much greater importance…like the Start of World Peace??? Why all the cameras? (Remember the lip gloss…and being prepared….I finally got it Miss J!) Not to be outdone at any rate…we quickly made M pull double duty…official Press Photographer for JHS AND cheering section. With her usual style and grace …she made the transition seamlessly. ( I am not entirely sure she is ready for her Very Official Press Photographers Pass yet, she appears to have this slight obsession with ass shots…but we’ll work on that!).
The plan was to enter the race at the back of the pack…but as usual luck for us Rag Tags…we unwittingly positioned ourselves so we would have to be out front. Now that was pressure! Much harder to dilly dally when there are 15 people waitin’ for you to move your ass. We let Mr. Computer Man lead…he was after all, the star of the team, if only because he can actually ride a bike and okay…so he’s in shape too…so what. Snow and I pulled in behind…and Miss J at the last…mostly I think to make sure Snow and I did not veer off into the woods…never to be found again.
Lovely trail it was too…apart from those annoying 90 degree turns around cement pillars on a three foot path with nothing but God to keep you from landing head first in the friggin’ river. Let’s just say…we were but mere inches away from a combo Ride to Work/Wet Tee Shirt Contest and you just know…I could never have won that!
It took like no time to do the 2.5K and reach the turn around point. Most of the team looked like they had pedaled for hours, this is councilors and and the like after all…and they specialize in sitting and bullshitting so…not shocking that this was probly their first foray into exercise world. I was however, quite impressed with the speed they generated on their hunt for snacks…which were apparently waiting for them there in the woods.
Then I heard it.
“Let’s keep going to the Lake” I heard. “It’s only about another kilometer away” I heard.
(Note to self: If Someone has serious ‘time’ issues…odds are they have serious‘distance’ issues as well).
The only ‘no’ I heard was the one screaming in my head.
So off we went…and went …and went….4K later….arriving at the lake.
I seriously think the girls should have taken me up my offer to throw Mr. Computer Man in the lake. Seriously. It is the least I coulda done. Seriously.
And the return trip…OMG. Someone turned up the wind to gale force…and apparently I suck as a wind break. We battled it the entire way back…and man those hills got a lot bigger than they were on the way down. Snow’s knee deserted her about half way back …and oh ya…half our team deserted Snow and I. Nice! Good thing we are not as directionally or time or distance challenged as some other people we know, we’d still be lost in the wilds of Oshawa.
But we made it. Much to the relieve of M, who had watch the original group return without us…fighting near hysterics when even the senior citizens came in with still no sign of us, and pacing frantically as she watched paramedics pull up and go down the path. She was sure we’d crashed landed into a big heap somewhere deep in the woods!
Au contraire M…we’re just over-achievers.,,,slow over-achievers.
And of course, we did what any good team of athletes would do after pouring their heart and souls into a morning of serious physical activity.
We found a good restaurant and ate like pigs.
Because we’re dedicated like that!
Au contraire my pretties!
Not only did we complete the 5K’s ...the original length this Ride was designed to be, we went one better…or actually about 8 better. This little band of Rag Tags complete a 13K ride.
And everybody lived!
It was a great day. And we’re very proud of ourselves! Too proud really.
We all arrived on time, which is a small miracle in itself, considering a couple of us have some serious ‘time’ issues, ( and while I could so rat you out here and now…I’ll save it…you can thank me later!) but for once, it seems everybody’s clock was in sync. We got our gear unloaded, helmets on, last minute wardrobe checks completed and 15 varieties of Lip Gloss packed….one must always be prepared….I’m told…but for what…I’m not sure?
We made our way to the starting point, towing our cheering section of ONE behind us. It seems M was the only one of the WHOLE ENTIRE STAFF OF JHS who could find the time to come and support us…even if all they had to do was sit on their sorry butts and looked like they gave a shit….apparently still too much for some! (And NO…I’m not the least bit bitter…nothing therapy won’t fix anyway.)
It turns out our first mistake was not to arrive with a Press photographer…it seems like everybody else had one, and I suddenly felt maybe Miss J had left something out. Was this a 5k Ride to Work Event…or something of much greater importance…like the Start of World Peace??? Why all the cameras? (Remember the lip gloss…and being prepared….I finally got it Miss J!) Not to be outdone at any rate…we quickly made M pull double duty…official Press Photographer for JHS AND cheering section. With her usual style and grace …she made the transition seamlessly. ( I am not entirely sure she is ready for her Very Official Press Photographers Pass yet, she appears to have this slight obsession with ass shots…but we’ll work on that!).
The plan was to enter the race at the back of the pack…but as usual luck for us Rag Tags…we unwittingly positioned ourselves so we would have to be out front. Now that was pressure! Much harder to dilly dally when there are 15 people waitin’ for you to move your ass. We let Mr. Computer Man lead…he was after all, the star of the team, if only because he can actually ride a bike and okay…so he’s in shape too…so what. Snow and I pulled in behind…and Miss J at the last…mostly I think to make sure Snow and I did not veer off into the woods…never to be found again.
Lovely trail it was too…apart from those annoying 90 degree turns around cement pillars on a three foot path with nothing but God to keep you from landing head first in the friggin’ river. Let’s just say…we were but mere inches away from a combo Ride to Work/Wet Tee Shirt Contest and you just know…I could never have won that!
It took like no time to do the 2.5K and reach the turn around point. Most of the team looked like they had pedaled for hours, this is councilors and and the like after all…and they specialize in sitting and bullshitting so…not shocking that this was probly their first foray into exercise world. I was however, quite impressed with the speed they generated on their hunt for snacks…which were apparently waiting for them there in the woods.
Then I heard it.
“Let’s keep going to the Lake” I heard. “It’s only about another kilometer away” I heard.
(Note to self: If Someone has serious ‘time’ issues…odds are they have serious‘distance’ issues as well).
The only ‘no’ I heard was the one screaming in my head.
So off we went…and went …and went….4K later….arriving at the lake.
I seriously think the girls should have taken me up my offer to throw Mr. Computer Man in the lake. Seriously. It is the least I coulda done. Seriously.
And the return trip…OMG. Someone turned up the wind to gale force…and apparently I suck as a wind break. We battled it the entire way back…and man those hills got a lot bigger than they were on the way down. Snow’s knee deserted her about half way back …and oh ya…half our team deserted Snow and I. Nice! Good thing we are not as directionally or time or distance challenged as some other people we know, we’d still be lost in the wilds of Oshawa.
But we made it. Much to the relieve of M, who had watch the original group return without us…fighting near hysterics when even the senior citizens came in with still no sign of us, and pacing frantically as she watched paramedics pull up and go down the path. She was sure we’d crashed landed into a big heap somewhere deep in the woods!
Au contraire M…we’re just over-achievers.,,,slow over-achievers.
And of course, we did what any good team of athletes would do after pouring their heart and souls into a morning of serious physical activity.
We found a good restaurant and ate like pigs.
Because we’re dedicated like that!
posted by Nad at 11:43 a.m.
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