She says…come see this…you wantta see what a dead cricket looks like?
NO!
And as I am backing towards the door…she decides she’ll stroll over…to save me the trip I guess…so I can get a good look, at this long-dead… decayed…giant …gross cricket. Thanks M.
And then she finds a big ass spider…must be a black widow she says. I caution her that if she comes near me with it…she will be workin’ alone the rest of the day.
What was she thinking!
If there is anything that can make me scream like a girl…it’s a bug. I know I am a girl…but I’m not 5…which is exactly how old I appear at the sight of a bug. It ain’t pretty.
Truth be told. It’s pathetic.
But it is what it is.
It is also one aspect of biking that I had not for a moment considered. I bike in the wood.
Bugs live in the woods. Lots of bugs. And it turns out….many other kinds of creatures.
It has been interesting to say the least.
With the big storm that blew thru last week, my bike paths were left in a disaster, trees blown down across them in a dozen spots. I have been force to climb over, duck under or detour around them. And silly me…I am not thinking what will happen should the rest of this tree let go while I am under it….or what if that one lets go while I am precariously balanced on it…with my bike in tow…not thinking of that at all. I am too busy thinking how many bugs there must be on that thing…and how many of them are going to end up crawling on me. Far more dire a situation than having a tree fall on your head.
See…told ya it’s pathetic.
And the snake grass I detour through….OMG I even hold my breath and shut my eyes…cuz that will help ya know... being short of oxygen and unable to see where I am going…big help…yup…can you say LOSER!
I really don’t know if there are snakes in there…have not seen one, not likely I will with my eyes shut tho is it. Snakes are right up there with bugs for me. If one ever wraps itself around my leg…I’ll rip it off with my bare hands…the leg that is…not touchin’ the snake.
I am reminded daily that I SHOULD be afraid of the fact I bike alone in remote areas.
Maybe. But the bugs still scare me more.
And I SHOULD be afraid of the other ….not so docile wild life I meet on my way...like the fox and the deer.
Maybe. But the bugs still scare me more.
And I SHOULD DEFINITELY be afraid of the potentially ferocious Bare-Assed White Man who lurks in the woods.
Maybe. Yet…the bugs STILL scare me more!
I am way too focused on what could possibly end up landing or crawling on me to worry about a rabid fox or an angry mother deer or even a freakin’ Bare-Assed White Man.
I’m not right in the head am I?
I have no idea why I am so phobic. My mother wonders who’s child I really am.
This is a woman who, should she find a wayward bug in the house, picks it up and carries it back to the wilds….and I have seen her squish an earwig with her bare hands. Bare hands people…no gloves…no big stick, no Raid can… notta! On a good day…when I’m a real spitfire…I’ll throw a shoe across the room (not MY shoe of course) at a bug and hope to kill…or I will successfully stifle the urge to have a complete mental breakdown …even if, in truth, I’m sceamin’ like a banshee inside and then… congratulate myself on my bravery. Hello! No need for therapy here is there?
Pathetic!
And for those of you who think I have just given you the perfect ammo with which to torment me. Don’t go there.
Remember…I ain’t right in the head.
I’ll plead insanity
Trust me…they’ll belive!