Better than Sex

I knew you'd all be waiting with baited breath for an update on my Good Intentions, cuz they were all life changing Intentions after all...the balance of the world...no wait...universe hangs on them and all!
Well I gotta say...they are going as well as expected. I should be proud...or shot....or something.
The picture...Gummy Reindeer...my second bag this week. There I said it! How bad is that? Please don't even answer that...the truth hurts ...and I will end up consoling myself with a third bag. Oh sure ...I let M have a couple...just a couple.. while we debated whether they were really reindeer...or moose. Like that mattered you know...us brainiacks...shheezz.
I didn't do any better at work either...zoned right in on the candy dishes...scooped up the good ones (mind you ...there are no bad candy...are there?) and ate them straight away...not even smart enough to shove them in my pocket and eat them in the van. Now I got Snow on my ass...and while I want to think it's outta her concern for my addiction...sadly I think she's just pissed I got them first. Competition ...great!

And like that ain't bad enough...and Gawd help me I know it is...it ain't the worst. I went to Costco...low and behold if they don't have this giant bag of GUMMY VITAMINS!!! There is a friggin God!
I could eat Gummies AND stay healthy....Be. Still. My. Heart!
I lingered....way too long. Picked them up...felt them...ohhhh heaven.
Then sadly...that last little tinsy winsy smidgen of sense I got left kicked in. I knew I couldn't just have one a day....or even two ...since they were kids...I reasoned two would be adult dose...right...of course.
I saw it all in my head...me on the gurney...local emergency department...doctors swarming...someone looking for the stomach pump or charcoal....people talking in hushed tones.....gawking and pointing in disbelief...that a grown woman could possible overdose on Gummy Vitamins. It was the gawkers that stopped me....seriously. I still pine for them...the gummies. I need a life...really...don't I?

Drinkin' ain't going so bad...altho really...nothing to brag about yet! I did go out to dinner and have a beer. Now that would be one beer more than I had this time last January...but when I left the dining establishment...I gotta admit...I kicked my ass....I really could have done better. Like I said...I really have no fears about this Good Intention...I got lotsa backing...they'll set me straight (or stand me up) if I waiver too much on this one.
Come to think of it tho...one beer seemed to be enough to have me agree to purchase and wear a black feathered bra on the outside of my shirt....no one would do that in their right mind now would they...huh...
I got a feeling it will take my second and third beer to get me to go thru with this one.

I gotta say I have redeemed myself totally.... I feel anyway, with my accomplishments in the Ipod department. I single-handedly dragged M into the 20th century. Not quite the 21st....but hey...it was no small task getting her this far. She came kicking and screaming the entire way...it was not a pretty sight and really....could very well of advanced my progress in my More Drinking Intention....to astronomical proportions...had I not been able to keep my cool techno head about me.
But...just as she was about to grab her bonnet and run back to her little house on prairie...we had a breakthru. She is now a downloadin'-uploadin' music playin techno genius like moi! It's all good...it's all good!
And sure...I got time...there's definitely room for improvement....and I will....but first things first...there's a bag o' reindeer calling me......loudly!