Canadian Eh!

Laugh if you must!
All done now? Good!
Just know...while you're out there freezin' yours off...my girls are snug as a bug in a rug...or a fur bra as is truly the case here. Snug as a bug I say!
And ya...I am sure the bra was never made with any practical purpose in mind. I am sure it was meant to be yet another cutesy little man pleaser...a little thrill for the ole'guy to discover...altho frankly...if I threw back the sheets and caught a glimpse of this, my first reaction would be to reach for something to kill it.
But me...I am a practical girl...and the bra....well it's a Canadian girls dream.
It was one of three bought after an evening of drinking, that's the reality...and seriously...who'd ever have the balls to stand in line at the cash with three of these puppies in hand without the aid of alcohol. And better yet...who'd be stupid enough to agree to wear it...even as a joke....without being in an altered state. Not me fer sure! Nope...definitely not me!
So...the plan was these little numbers would be part of special Valentine's outfits that M and I would wear when we were teaching class. M and I...well lets just say...when M and I step out...we step out in style...no matter the occassion! They would be sewn, glued...or duct taped (depending on our time crunch) to tee shirts...thus making them visiable, while still keeping our G rating...cus that's important (to who ...Lord only knows!). And I should say right here and now...this was so not my big fat idea....I was a hapless victim in this whole shemozzle...cross my heart !
Anyway...that didn't pan out. M quickly backtracked, (read....wimped out)...complaining there was no way she could fit her big busty self in that little fur thing. I heard the same cop out from Miss J...yet...the insistance that I wear it...somewhere...somehow....never stopped. So dammit...I did.
Imagine my surprise!
I tried it on ...it fit...and as I was reaching for a tee shirt...to put over it....cuz that was as good as it was going to get....I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Hot damn!
How Friggin' Canadian!
That was the first thought that went thru my head. The next one....even better....
There I was...a true Canadian woman....snow swirling around me...white capped mountains in the background... eskimos doing eskimo things off to the side....bitter winds howling...ha!
I had on a fur bra....every Canadian woman needs a fur bra!
It should be law.
And like I said...I'm a practical girl...and suddenly this fur bra was makin' a whole lot of sense! I took it for a test drive and I'm tellin' ya....it was heaven. I sat it the freezing cold car...board stiff from the cold....except under the fur bra....I could feel the heat radiating outward!
I. Am. So. In. Love!
I do...I must... highly recommend it. I seriously think any girl who has to put up with the ass-freezing weather we're blessed with, should make it a must-have.
There are a few little need-to-knows.
A. Wearing it under a tight fitting tee shirt...well leaves you lookin a tad lumpy...like maybe you stuffed your regular bra with...say paper towel ...not that I ever have...just assuming that would be lumpy..really.
B Does not work well with a low or V-neck top. People look at you a-l-i-t-t-l-e funny when your 'chest hair' starts migrating out the top of it....not pretty...altho I could shame a He-Man with these goods!
C. Zippers... you get the picture there!
D.Not only must you hand wash it, and find a safe place to air dry it (my cat thinks it's his brother), you must also be prepared to groom it....that's right ...brush and fluff it!
And ya know what...it's still so worth it.
Be good to your girls I always say!
Be a real Canadian chick...eh!
When they come out with the matching fur Grandma panties.....I'll know there is a God!

He's Forgiven

I got such a response from all my quilting friends about my last blog...you know the one where Mr. Computer Man called my precious little quilt....a carpet. Unforgiveable to some of them...unbelieveable to others....some suggested I should find someone else to teach me computer cuz if he didn't know a quilt from a carpet...how good could he actually be at something so technical as computers. Quite an uproar indeedy. I explained that I was over it...had said my piece on the issue...and moved on. Few seemed to believe it.
So.....
Maybe now that you can see him...over there in his
MR. COMPUTER MAN.... cute satin jammies...bare chested and all....(if only you could see his ...never mind) you can understand finally why I got over it so quickly and dutifully returned to computer class. There are times when one must sacrifice their pride....in the name of higher education...of course.
And honesty....so what if he doesn't know a carpet from a quilt, he is Mr. Computer Man...not Mr. Home Decorator. He has OTHER things that make up for his lack of knowledge in the quilt department...if you know what I mean!
And really...he does know his way around a computer....and I learned alot of things. While I have never made the faux pas of calling a mouse ...a rat, which in my mind would be the equivalent to calling a quilt a carpet, there are many parts of computing that I was indeed enlightened on.
I am not one to hold a grudge!
So all in all...let's just call it a mutual learning experiance.....I learned about virtual memory, cookies (not the baked kind), Vista and Adobe Pro.....and he learned... the difference between a quilt and a carpet.
AND
What happens when you don't remove the lewd pictures you sneak-ed-ly put on someone elses removeable storeage device!
Smarty Pants.