The Creativ Fest ....My Personal Checklist.

Things To Pack

3 black pants……check
3 black ill fitting…looks like I borrowed them from Dad golf shirts…..check
3 bright coloured tank tops for under ill fitting golf shirts so world won’t have to see cashiers goods or lack there of everytime she bends over …..check
Steel – toed stilettos ….check
Sensible shoes indicating I do have a rational thought occasionally……check
Socks, jamies, and unmentionables….check, check and ooooh….check.
Jeans to wear in the evening while reading my bible snort…I mean…..check
Bathing suit whose purchase scarred me for life, for pool when I am not reading my bible…gawd help me check.
Nutritional junk food ….check
Head ache, stomach ache and anti-acid medication for effects of too much ‘reading’…check.
Phone, MyPod, headphones and “happy place” accessories….check.
Beer….check
Beer….check
Beer….check
Beer…check
Miss Manners book of Good Behavior (2 Copies…one for M)….check.
Lawyer’s phone number incase there is no opportunity to read and absorb Miss Manners…check.
Pillow, blanket and big stick incase sleeping arrangement involves park bench…..check.
Camera to record.... bible study….check.

Things Not To Pack

Common Sense- if you had any you would not be going in the first place.

Sleep Mask - Sleep? WTF?

Bad Attitude - leave it at home...develope a new one by Sunday!

Short skirt - don't want to compete with the Captain....might get the 'Hand'

Things Still Needing Attention:
1.Call U-Haul to arrange luggage pick up for Miss J.
2.Find the Captain the perfect shoes to go with his skirt so he can wear it to the show.
3.Have explaination ready for M, of why that one sample looks like the dog's friggin' breakfast. (simple lay-term definition of brain death should suffice)

4. Be extra nice to Mr. Computer Man so the fact he might want to kill you ...slips his mind. Don't say the word FiFi in his presences.

5.Practice “I Will Not Get In Trouble” mantra with M prior to departure.
6.Practice “I will Not Get In Trouble” mantra with M prior to departure.
7.Locate and pack running shoes incase mantra or mind slip fails.
8.Check with hotel to see exactly what policies regarding rowdy guests are.
9.Recharge pager and deliver to Snow incase “Quick Exit” measures must be taken.
10.Estimate number of staff requiring detox, book and confirm.

11. Tattoo name, address and phone number to left butt cheek incase you can't remember by Sunday.

Where Oh Where Could She Be?

Have you seen this….this…..THIS?

Missing and Endangered.

Last Seen:
Mysteriously disappeared on or about Wednesday, March 23, 2007.
Last known sighting occurred in the Northeastern quadrant of Oshawa, in the vicinity of Winchester Road East and Grandview Street North.

Description:
Has been described as….as…well…furry in the front and rather open in the back. While no outstanding birthmarks or tattoos were noted, as observed in a recent photo, it does possess a distinct addition (is that a real friggin’ diamond?) on the front. Coupled with a noticeable black/white pattern, positive identification by the general public should easily be possible.
Answers to the name of FiFi and investigations reveals it is to be considered quite approachable…most of the time.

Mitigating Circumstances:
While FiFi’s disappearance is considered a mystery at this time, it is possible this disappearance involve one or several known individuals:
Snow White – Adult Female. Described as absolutely delightful and pure as
driven…snow, investigators fear there is a twisted side to her.
Mr. Computer Man – Adult Male. While easily confused by carpets and quilts, he
has confessed to a love of fur and remains high on the
Suspect list.
Miss J. – Adult Female. While not linked directly, disappearance occurred in the
vicinity of this property. Has be unco-operative in investigation.

Details:
A very dear friend…who shall remain nameless…(right M?) seeks urgent information on the whereabouts of FiFi and is most anxious to know that FiFi is being well groomed and cared for. (I just think cuz it’s so cold she is in desperate need of FiFi…but what do I know?)

What You Can Do
If you have any information on the whereabouts of FiFi ( identity of tipsters will be protected)…or would care to join the volunteer search team (we will be concentrating on the ditches and trash receptacles in the area of Winchester Road.) Please contact the blog owner at knottynad@gmail.com at your earliest convenience and help us solve this tragic mystery.

Hang on FiFi.....hang on!